Rules for Reality TV
- The word “reality” is taken to mean “the most unrealistic and atypical situation you can possibly think of.”
- Any “Celebrity _____” show must have a Baldwin brother.
- Editing allows you to turn a saint into a sinner, or a sinner into a saint — but even more, you can turn a vaguely annoying person into a tyrant.
- Don’t eliminate those annoying people early; you need them for ratings.
- You can make an unstructured reality TV show, with video diaries — you know, the things that 20 years ago we used to call “documentaries.”
- You can make a structured reality TV show, with contests and eliminations — you know, the things that 20 years ago we used to call “game shows.”
- The best way to program against a competitor’s Mark Burnett reality TV show is with your own Mark Burnett reality TV show.
- During the “letters from home” segment, crank up the maudlin piano or a Green Day ballad.
- The winner’s reveal show should take 2 or 3 hours, never shorter, no matter how utterly bored the viewers are of these people.
- When in doubt, pitch a random reality show title.
Yes, I created a reality show title generator. Comment with the ones you like or that don’t work at all. Hours of fun for the whole family.