Rules for Reality TV
- The word “reality” is taken to mean “the most unrealistic and atypical situation you can possibly think of.”
- Any “Celebrity _____” show must have a Baldwin brother.
- Editing allows you to turn a saint into a sinner, or a sinner into a saint — but even more, you can turn a vaguely annoying person into a tyrant.
- Don’t eliminate those annoying people early; you need them for ratings.
- You can make an unstructured reality TV show, with video diaries — you know, the things that 20 years ago we used to call “documentaries.”
- You can make a structured reality TV show, with contests and eliminations — you know, the things that 20 years ago we used to call “game shows.”
- The best way to program against a competitor’s Mark Burnett reality TV show is with your own Mark Burnett reality TV show.
- During the “letters from home” segment, crank up the maudlin piano or a Green Day ballad.
- The winner’s reveal show should take 2 or 3 hours, never shorter, no matter how utterly bored the viewers are of these people.
- When in doubt, pitch a random reality show title.
Yes, I created a reality show title generator. Comment with the ones you like or that don’t work at all. Hours of fun for the whole family.
February 2nd, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I think this show Hot Car would be a lot of fun. I better go pitch it…
February 2nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm
“Average Whips”… a reality show for the Playboy channel?
February 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Kevin says I should let people rate them and have a way of displaying the top ones. I’d give “America’s Greatest Crack Whore Charm School” 10/10.
February 3rd, 2008 at 10:11 am
Gene Simmons In Space!
You don’t know how much I would pay to see this.
February 4th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Sounds like your program is a success! Seconding/thirding the voting scheme, even if that causes you to slave over a screen of hot code.
February 4th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I added voting last night! Try it out.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I LOVE your rules. I don’t watch reality TV, mind you, but I love to laugh at it.
Actually, when I was home with the babies and nursing all the time, I WAS a big fan of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Anyway, UI TIP for your voting — I should be able to click the number and have it just submit for me. clicking the radio button and then clicking RATE IT! is tedious. (I’ll send you an invoice for this UE consulting…)
February 5th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Thanks!
As for the voting UI: You can press Enter instead of clicking Rate It.
I personally hate radio buttons that act as submit buttons as well — what if I change my mind? It’s a violation of expectations.
But I see that the “Hot or Not”-type sites don’t require you to click a separate button so I suppose I should do the same.
February 12th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
#4 – I agree, unless Johnny Fairplay is involved.
My random title is “Desperate Naked Chef”. I can’t even begin to describe how much I love that.
February 25th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Supermodels vs. Labs…
ROFL!!!