New terms of service for

Thank you for reading We value your readership and your contributions.

By reading those words, you have now already unconditionally agreed to the terms of the following license, which supersede any previous license as well as common sense. Please forward any questions you have to

  • All comments and contributions you make to are the exclusive property of
  • Those comments and contributions may be used unconditionally by in any way we see fit. That includes forwarding them to your future potential bosses and significant others at inopportune times.
  • We may turn your words into a t-shirt or coffee mug or mouse pad and sell them. You get nothing.
  • Any ideas you may have while reading are deemed to have been inspired by our licensed material, and are therefore unconditionally owned by, and any such commercially practical ideas may be exploited by at our discretion. Further, any profits you make from your ideas must be surrendered to at a 150% penalty.
  • Reading this material at work requires you to forfeit your hourly salary to for any hour or portion thereto in which is displayed. Alternately, we may choose to claim an ownership stake in your company and a seat on the board of directors.
  • Content you make at any other site that is in any way similar to content must be surrendered to us in whole. Such similarity may be found through your use of words such as (but not limited to) “land fish,” “sea kitten,” “waffle,” “bacon,” or “or,” “the,” “of,” and “and.”
  • Not reading the terms of this license requires you to submit a $50 non-readership penalty.
  • Reading the terms of this license requires you to license the license for a $50 licensing fee license.

2 Responses to “New terms of service for”

  1. DaveZatz Says:

    Hey, at least you prominently let us know about the change. Facebook and the AP should take notice. šŸ˜‰

  2. Stephen Says:

    Good point. I should have hidden this as a backdated post from 2003.

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