Would you sell out for a shot?
Suppose you had the opportunity to be in a major Hollywood motion picture that was guaranteed to be released to movie theaters.
You could be the leading actor, the screenwriter, the director, the producer, the director of photography — whatever your preference.
Everything was guaranteed. It’s a real shot at the big time, your opportunity to play a major role in a movie. Plus the salary is Hollywood-sized — let’s say a million dollars just for round numbers, for a few months of work.
The only catch: The movie is Policy Academy 17.
Would you do it?
If your answer is yes, now suppose the script for movie is, in your opinion, both racist and sexist, and those elements can’t be changed.
Would you still do it?
If your answer is yes, now suppose you have to become a cannibal and eat Steve Guttenberg.
<speed>WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WHAT… WOULD YOU DO?</speed>
March 17th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Hmmm… outside the canabalism portion, I’d be in. And to protect my good name, I’d say I’m doing it to shine a light on these social issues and turn over 1/3 of my salary to organizations combatting those things. Then I’d ride the wave of talk show appearances and perhaps additional roles and invest my money in something safe like gold bars.
Besides, I always wanted to learn how to be a human beat box.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
hmmm… once you hit the movie being no fun I was out.
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March 17th, 2009 at 9:43 am
So you’re in for Police Academy 17, but not if it’s racist/sexist Police Academy 17? And I’m presuming the eating of human flesh is right out?
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Dave Zatz said it best in the comments on your original post. Yes, yes, and yes, but in a way that makes me come out smelling like a rose afterwards!
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Dateline: Hollywood, CA. In an act that stunned horrified onlookers, well-known actor Steve Guttenberg was killed and eaten in Burbank today, in an apparent publicity stunt gone wrong. Los Angeles police arrested actor Brian "Me" Johns on the set of Police Academy 17, where both Johns and Guttenberg were rehearsing a scene. Police charged Johns later this afternoon with murder, aggravated assault, and conspiracy to commit cannibalism. Eyewitnesses reported that Johns yelled out several statements as he attempted to devour Guttenberg’s corpse. "He just started screaming madly," reported John Smith, who was working as an extra and witnessed the brutal scene. "He said, ‘Steve tastes delicious! I’m doing it for charity! I’m smelling like a rose!’ Then we tried to drag him off," said Smith.
This comment was originally posted on FriendFeed
March 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Dateline: Hollywood, CA. In an act that stunned horrified onlookers, Hollywood actor Steve Gutenberg was killed and eaten in Burbank today, in an apparent publicity stunt gone wrong. Los Angeles police arrested local actor Brian Johns on the set of Police Academy 17, where both Johns and Gutenberg were rehearsing a scene. Police charged Johns later this afternoon with murder, aggravated assault, and conspiracy to commit cannibalism. Witnesses reported that Johns yelled out several statements as he attempted to devour Gutenberg’s corpse. "He just started screaming madly," reported Brian Smith, who was working as an extra and witnessed the brutal scene. "He said, ‘Steve tasted delicious! I did it for charity! I’m smelling like a rose!’ Then we tried to drag him off," said Smith.
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:53 am
And after my ensuing book tour, I’ll give half to charity. I swear! So give me some money, ok? I ate most of Steve Gutenberg! Can I give a motivational speech at your next corporate retreat?
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Think of the children….
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am
And for my next trick, I’m going to devour the corpses of suicidal AIG execs. ON LIVE NATIONAL TV!!!!
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March 17th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I want some of what you’re smokin.
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March 17th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
*lol* silly boys! Stephen, to answer your earlier question – I don’t care if it is Police Academy 17 as long as its a blast. Just means less people are likely to see me make a complete fool of myself.
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