‘Twas the Night Before iSlate

'Twas the night before iSlate, when all through the land
Every techie was jonesing a bit out of hand;
The stock market was hung on the announcement to be,
In hopes that Steve Jobs would soon let them all see.
The faithful were tapping upon their iPods
While mock-ups of AMOLEDs appeared on their blogs;
And Terry McGraw (he's the McGraw-Hill head)
Let slip a few things that he should not have said.
Then suddenly on twitter there arose such a chatter,
I pulled out my MacBook to check out the blather.
And I sifted through web sites all loaded with flash
And read many nutters using #ipad as hash.
The loons who loved gadgets were gabbing again
Giving the lustre of newness to concepts mundane,
When what to my iGoggling eyes should appear
But a plausible leak from a tunneling peer.
With its burnished titanium shiny and new
I knew in a moment this jpeg was true.
More features than Kindle or Android they came
And we googled and journaled and guessed at its name;
"It's iBook, no-- Canvas, no-- Tablet or eSlate!
Or iPad! Or iGuide! Or maybe it's iWait."
To the top of the trends! To my facebook wall!
Now post away! Post away! Post away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So onto my wish-list this gadget did flew
With a cart full of accessories and free shipping too.
And then it was Wednesday morning at last
I'd canceled my meetings and closed all my tasks.
As I fired up Safari and loaded the sites,
I logged out of my IMs and ate my last bites.
And onto the stage strided Steve Jobs
He was dressed in a turtleneck like the flash mobs.
The Apple Store and iTunes were down to deliver
And Steve looked like he could use a new liver.
His iPad -- how it glistened, its curves were so sexy!
Its apps were all written in code that was hexy!
Its cute little screen was so packed up with pixels,
And its underlying OS allowed many C-shells;
The form factor was sleek and just right for reading,
And with its touch-based UI no keyboard was needing.
It used up broadband and a little more 3G,
And no buttons at all, just multi-touch easy.
It was silver and sleek, a right sexy device
And I had lust when I saw it in spite of the price;
A wink of Steve's eye and twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke a few words, then went straight to his demo,
And filled all the screens with a 3-D memo,
And showing us the features we all had expected,
Including which apps were not yet rejected,
We sprang to attention as his team came to the stages,
And an exec from B-N showed us how to turn pages.
And I heard Steve exclaim before he said one more thing,
"Many iPads on sale, for just $899."

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