December 26: While Sammy and Kimi napped at our hotel room, I took Sophie over to my parents’ house in Elk Grove, and hung out with most of my family. I had with me Sophie’s diaper bag, our camera bag (which I lugged everywhere but never even got around to opening on the whole trip), and a box with some of the presents we’d received. All of this I took into my parent’s house.
Foreshadowing: We had noted that my parents seemed to be dealing with an ant infestation. Phil put up some ant traps. I thought no more about it.
Later on, Kimi came over and we all went out to Thai Basil for dinner to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and I left most of the items on the floor in my parents’ living room. Kimi suggested I pack it all up, but it was cold and raining outside, and we were in a hurry.
After dinner, on the way back to the hotel, I suggested I swing by the parents’ house to pick up the items, but we were all tired and it was well past Sammy’s bedtime, so we carried on to the hotel.
We put Sammy to bed, and then had a plan. The previous night had been a disaster because (a) Sophie had been screaming until 11:30pm, until I took her out and drove her around for an hour to get her to go to sleep, (b) Sammy didn’t sleep well at all, waking up several times, mostly due to his unfamiliarity with sharing a room at all, plus the hotel room itself being unfamiliar, and (c) I (apparently) snored loudly enough to not only keep Kimi from sleeping, but also loud enough to wake up Sammy.
So, our new plan was for me to spend the night at my parents’ house with Sophie, leaving Kimi and Sammy in the hotel room. So I put Sammy to bed, headed over to my parents’ house to say goodnight and get some diapers, then headed over to Phil’s house to hang out with Phil, Erin, Sarah, Rob, and Kelly. We ended up playing games, watching an episode of “The Big Bang Theory” (cute, but I’m not going to get a Season Pass to it), and play some Gauntlet. Sophie was not sleeping well, but eventually she and I headed to my parent’s place for a pretty good night of sleep.
The next morning, I was horrified to see that the cardboard box containing some of the presents (including, if all the facts are to be disclosed, some Christmas candy) had some ants in it.
I see now that I should have cleaned it out then, but I was in a hurry to meet up with Kimi and Sammy and get over to Phil and Erin’s house so that Sammy could visit the train museum.
So I just put the box in the car and got out of there.
After the short drive to Phil’s place, I left the box outside their house, figuring the ants would disperse.
And after Sammy and I had a great trip to the train museum with Phil, Erin, and Sarah, we went back to pick up Kimi and Sophie and head back to Mountain View.
I was pleased to see the ants were dead, and I put the box into the car figuring I could clean it out properly when we got home.
When we left, Sammy and Sophie were napping, and all was peaceful.
That didn’t last long, however. A short while later, Sammy woke up, and eventually Kimi squeezed her way into the back seat (not much space back there between two car seats) and was reading Sammy stories.
Somewhere around Tracy, your honor, my wife began to scream.
“Ants! Ants! Ants! They’re biting me!”
Soon Sammy was saying the same thing.
And sure enough, ants everywhere. They had not been killed by the cold, no sir, they were just hibernating. And in the warmth of our Subaru, they had come back to life, just like in countless horror movies, and made their way forward to prey upon my family.
I pulled over at the next exit, got a trash bag, put the presents inside, threw out the box and the candy, and tried to kill as many ants as possible.
Kimi was upset at me, naturally, and I was defensive. Some unkind words were exchanged, followed by apologies and thoughtful analysis of the incident. In the ranking of bad things I have done to Kimi, allowing her to get eaten up by ants on a long car trip is about the fourth or fifth most horrible thing I’ve done.
In recounting this incident, your honor, I can only beg for the court’s mercy and offer up such feeble defenses as “How should I know ants can hibernate” and “Well, I thought about doing the right thing several times.”
If Sammy grows up to have a complex about ants, perhaps the narrative of this incident may serve his future therapist well.